Today is a big day. It’s the opening day of “Big Momma’s House: Like Father, Like Son”, the third film in the Martin Lawrence-helmed series. And as of 2:38 PM, Friday Feb 18, the film is currently rated at 0% on the Tomatometer at Rotten Tomatoes … which might be a bit generous. Let’s go to the reviews.

Cruel: “Agonisingly slow and laughter-free.” Charlotte O’Sullivan — This is London

Crueler: “The movie is at least 20 minutes too long. Actually, it’s 107 minutes too long.” Roz Laws — Birmingham Post

Cruelest: “The world’s least funny comedian returns in this lazily written, pointless and painfully laugh-free threequel … that should be avoided at all costs.” Matthew Turner – ViewLondon

Brutal. But this got us to thinking about other films like it. Films that use the “Hey, look at me! I didn’t even try to come up with something new!” big, red font for their titling. So, in honor of the opening day of “Big Momma’s House: Like Father, Like Son”, we present to you several more marketing schemes that give good proof to this equation: Red Font + Comedy = Terrible.

Gorilla Enters The Addy’s This Year

I am typically the voice on the other end of the line telling you that everything is going to be fine, despite only getting five shots on the first day of production. I am the one who tells you, while smiling, that the production schedule you have laid out is impossible. At Gorilla, I produce films. However, once in a while, I get to do something different; something that feels like an arts and crafts project. I glue things and burn things and put things in plastic bags. Every once in a while (once a year to be exact), it falls to me, Aaron B. Smith, to get our production work ready for the Addy awards.

This is our second year of submitting work to the Addy’s, but it was a bit different. I had a helper — one Alexa Hook, an illustrious and industrious senior at Calvin College who is currently interning for us. We offered her the internship right away because we had a feeling she would be a good fit at Gorilla. (I also needed immediate help with the madness that is submitting work to the Addy awards.)

We entered thirteen (13) different pieces into the Addy competition this year, a substantial upgrade from the mere three (3) projects we submitted last year. Alexa and I started work on getting our entries ready on a Tuesday afternoon. We did not finish getting them ready until 1 pm, the following Thursday which was the day they were due. Why so long, you ask? Because it is a process. Figuring out which category each project falls under is a spooky hybrid akin to shooting craps and interpreting Ulysses by James Joyce. Also, you need to make two DVD copies of each project. We live in the age of the internet and here we are, still making physical copies of things and still physically moving them from one place to another. These are the kinds of things we usually e-mail, upload, or FTP to our clients. But, I digress.

We completed our task and managed to drop off all the entries in time, despite the snowy roads that had caused Alexa to crash her car the previous day. Upon returning to the office Alexa and I exchanged a feeble hi-five. I stumbled into my office and took a thirty minute cat nap while listening to Zoe Keating. This marked the end of another year of entering the Addy Awards. It’s a bit strange to consider that all the months of work of this Grand Rapids based production company, Gorilla Pictures, can be simmered down to thirteen (13) submissions to the Addy’s. What a year.

Welcome to the launch of our brand spanking new website! It’s been quite a long time coming. Maybe if we didn’t spend all of our waking hours making sweet films, commercials, and other assorted visual awesomeness we could have made it more of a priority. But C’est la vie, it’s here at last. The new design should enable us to update content on a whim, which hopefully means no more of this waiting around for three years to see anything new from us. Hopefully.

We’re also pretty excited about some of the new developments taking place around here. In the near future we will be posting info regarding a substantial addition to our RED Camera package, our upcoming move down the hall to more client-friendly workspace (still at our 1514 Wealthy location in Grand Rapids), and the release a number of projects including local agency work, a theatrical trailer for Mpower Pictures, and a pet project music video.

Welcome to the new Gorilla.